Heero's Angel
by Nena
Summary: Heero Yuy has spent his entire life wondering around, following orders, not being able to truly live and never feeling complete until he asks God for an angel. Receiving a near fatal injury, he is sent to live with his only weakness Relena Peacecraft.
1. All He Has

__

Heero's Angel

-Nena.

It had been a long, beautiful, glorious day.

He took a sip of his tea and relaxed his stanza, leaning against the glass window and feeling the heat of the sun even through his dark gray sweater. He stared out across a deep blue ocean towards a pink, peach, and golden sunset going down behind the dark abyss of water. The only sound in the house was his breathing. He loved silence, probably even more than the warmth of the sun. He loved for things to just be. Not to move. Not to sing. Not to make noise, but to just _be _and stay that way.

Like his crimson heart. No one must know anything about it, must not hear its beat, must not long for it and bleed. They may know it is there. So be it. He forbade the world to hear it. Let the world sleep with one less distraction.

Oh, but if he could sleep _one_ single night without hearing the sound of his bleeding, thumping heart filling his ears with cries of the massacred - oh, to know what real love felt like without the guilt of innocence lying on his shoulders - _oh_, to just _be_, and not care, and live, and begin again. To love and be loved merely for _who you are_, how wonderful - how perfect - how quiet...how utterly unobtainable.

The sun slowly descended behind the sea, shrouding him in the darkness of his house and heart. He looked into the sky and saw the first star - the only star he ever saw looking out of this particular window in his home. It was his only guide during the night, his only comfort. The only reflection on the black water below. He set down his tea, now cold, and walked softly across his kitchen into the living room. The plush white carpet under his feet gave him a sense of landing, so he sat down on the black couch in his living room. He reached into his jeans' pocket and pulled out a rather sharp knife, then brought it up to his neck, rubbing the cool metal along his throat. The tip of the knife poked his skin and he quickly jerked it away, reaching up and covering the cut with his hand. He looked at the knife in his hand as the blood ran now the metal, leaving a trail.

He hadn't done it on purpose. He wasn't suicidal. He just didn't care whether or not he accidentally hurt himself, and the worst-case scenario happened. It's what happened to people like himself. It's what people like himself deserved. The worst case scenarios. His punishment. He rose and walked back into the kitchen, opening a cabinet and bringing out the first aid kit.

Later that night, when he was in bed and the ocean outside was silent, he pondered his life. His existence. His reason to keep on trying - to not just give up. And he found he had none anymore. Before it was for peace, but now peace was here. This world was as safe as it could possibly be under the circumstances, even without the Perfect Soldier himself. He had no reason to keep on trying. So when he sensed the moon being covered by a cloud, and when he heard the silence being broken by his hot water heater, and when he believed the world wouldn't hear, he spoke in the night, a whisper…

"I need a sign. Anything. I need an angel, something...someone to show me what I should be doing. I've never asked anything of You since before the war, because I stopped believing. But I'm believing right now. You're my last chance, and if You're not real...if You don't show up, come through for me..."

His thoughts ran almost as a shock to even himself.

"You're my last chance. If You're not real, I give up."

He fell asleep that night in the uneasiness that settles into the oceans in each and every heart, but in the midst of his own murky black depths, a light shone.

She couldn't sleep. Tonight had been a night where the burden she bared had increased ten fold, and she felt a tugging in her heart - she hadn't known what for. She prayed daily, a sure sign of her faith to God even if she no longer believed in total Pacifism. She fasted at least once a week for Heero Yuy. She didn't know why, she just did. Maybe it was for his soul - she wanted that torn soul to be with her in Heaven one day. Or maybe it was because there was a secret romance blossoming in her heart towards him, to which of the kind she had never felt towards any male before. Literally. She had never kissed. She had never dated. She was 18 years old.

Or maybe it was part of her calling on earth. Or maybe it was a combination. She didn't know, but she did. So far, for the past four years, nothing had happened. Of course they talked, but only the necessary things. They worked in the same building together six out of seven days of the week, but had barely had more than a 5 minute long conversation. He attracted her - he attracted her more than any man she had ever met before, and she admitted it to herself. Physically, and mentally, and emotionally - the latter mostly because he was a mystery to her. She never knew what he was going to say, if he ever said anything at all. And she had to think long and hard about what he _did_ say, and she received something from him about it - a new confidence in herself, or a new way of seeing the world. She wanted to know him. She wanted to _know _Heero Yuy. She wanted to hear his heart.

It was dangerous, she knew. But she couldn't help it - God had allowed him to come into her life for a reason. And she into his. For what reason she did not know, but strived to figure out. She craved the feeling of his arms around her - the feeling of not being alone all the time. She was never alone, she knew so - God was always there and would always be her strength. She just wanted to have a love - to feel _that _kind of love with someone else - with Heero Yuy.

The door to her bedroom creaked open and she turned to see a mop of golden hair next to her bedside. A chubby hand with Barbie-pink nail polish reached over her bed and tugged onto her night gown.

She leaned over her bed and stared into the beautiful blue eyes of her niece Aurora. The child merely stared back in hopes of being picked up. Relena searched the eyes for a long time - quite a long time. Apparently too long for tears started forming and Relena quickly picked her up and set her on her lap.

Aurora had never spoken a complete sentence in her entire life, and only spoke to Relena. The child was three years old. She didn't even cry when she changed from infant to toddler, even when Zechs and Noin found her standing in a bed of ants - Aurora simply ran to them and held up her legs. But for her Aunt Relena, the child would cry - if she wasn't held, she would cry.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Relena ran her hands through the child's locks as if they were silk. Aurora nodded "no" and Relena stopped.

"Is something wrong? You're not hurt, are you?" Relena quickly picked the child up and looked over her body, checking her legs. Aurora nodded profusely and Relena stopped.

"Well what's wrong, precious?"

Aurora looked up at Relena, as if she were to say something, but stopped. She reached over and poked her finger into Relena's chest, over heart.

"Your heart? Does your heart hurt, Aurora?" Aurora nodded "no" and kept poking Relena.

Relena sighed and stared quizzically at the child. She looked down at the child's hand and placed her hand over it.

"Hurt?" Aurora whispered.

Aurora simply looked up at her, waiting for an answer. Relena smiled at her, not sure how to say what she wanted to tell the child. Aurora then jumped off the bed and opened one of Relena's drawers, pulling out a picture of Heero Yuy. She reached up and waited for Relena to pick her up. After doing so, she placed the picture over Relena's heart and then picked up Relena's hand, placing it over the picture.

Relena's eyes burned with tears as the child waved her goodbye with a smile and walked out of the room with a teddy bear dangling from her hand. She didn't understand. Aurora had never been around Heero before - Milliardo would pitch a fit if she went within a mile of the Preventors office. She held her hand in place over the picture.

"Send me love." She said into the air, holding her hand over her heart. "If nothing else, please, God, send me love."

He woke up the next day with a splitting migraine. He sat up in bed and felt the world spin for a minute before pulling the covers back and standing up, which led to double vision and him sitting back down on the bed. Running his hands through his brown hair, he took a deep breath and walked to the bathroom. A quick shower could clean this whole thing up.

When he was through, he slipped a towel around his waist and looked on the ground to check for water, but as he did so nausea swept over him and he quickly leaned over and threw up into the toilet. Grabbing hold of the closest thing to him that he could to catch his balance, he quickly realized his mistake in grabbing the shower curtain - so he stuck his foot out to keep himself from falling. Unfortunately there _was _water on the ground. And so, as his foot slipped out from under him and the shower curtain broke off the hinges, the last thing he saw before cracking his head on the counter sink was himself in the huge mirror - himself, with no expression on his face.

She clicked her heels impatiently on the marble floor outside her office. Heero Yuy was late.

Heero Yuy was _never _late.

Something was wrong. She could feel it in her bones, and she could strangely feel the vibration of a heartbeat throughout her entire pulse.

He was supposed to be here bright and early this morning, as he always was, to do a daily checkup on her security system. It was so secure that he had to be there for _her_ to get in. She had a busy day ahead of her today, and the one day that she had decided to come to work early so she could organize her desk, he decided to be late. An entire two hours late, at that.

She couldn't take it anymore. The guards stared at her wide-eyed as she strolled out of the Preventor's building with the keys to her white limo in hand.

She drove around in the country side a full hour before finding his house. He had brought her here once, to show her a few of the new high-tech security systems and etc. that they were working on, and she had fallen in love with the house when she had first seen it, despite the fact that it was in the middle of nowhere. She had _thought _she'd memorized the way there. It wasn't like she had to memorize the mailbox number...

She saw the house way before she got to it. After the wars, the Gundam Pilots were rewarded a handsome sum of money for their acts of heroism. And Heero had chosen to buy this beautiful house. It was three-stories high and made of cedar, outside a lake...get this...a lake named "Lake Mystery". She never quite understood why anyone would ever want to name a lake that.

More than the lake, she loved the sunset. While he thought she was listening to him talk about security devices, she had been looking out his window, watching the sun go down. She couldn't describe it - she couldn't describe how beautiful it _really _was, in all of its nature and the beauty God had decided to birth forth through the sun and the sky and the sea. She felt at peace with herself - she felt at peace with herself for the first time since she had met Heero Yuy, and it had to be in his home.

She parked in his driveway quite well- Pagan had given her a few limo lessons. She walked up his homemade - wooden steps and smelt of a few wild roses that had grown around the handles. Funny. She never remembered Heero liking roses.

She tried in vain three times to knock on Heero's door and get his attention. She began to question her motive in coming here at all - he had probably gone on one of his famous "missions" and forgotten to tell her about it. But as she turned on her heel to leave, her heart clutched beneath her chest and she gasped, feeling God whispering her to stay.

She walked slowly back up to the door and brought her ear up to it - she heard absolutely nothing. The house was completely silent. Not that she had expected anything less from Heero Yuy.

But then she heard it - she pressed her ear harder to the door - yes, it was running water. It was running water at 10 AM. Heero never stayed up past 6 AM, she knew for a fact. Because _he _made sure _she _didn't, too. Maybe he was taking a short, quick shower...

She threw off the feeling as if it were just her mind playing tricks on her, and turned to leave. She walked down the steps and tried to focus once again on the sunset, her heels clicking against his wooden porch and then against the cement of his driveway. She walked swiftly, hoping that he wouldn't come running out the door any minute asking her what in the world she had been doing standing like an idiot on his front lawn.

She opened the car door and sat down in the seat. As she was buckling her seatbelt, the feeling came back again - but not in the clutching of her heart. More like the pulse. She could feel a pulse lightly, subconsciously imaging throughout her entire body. She could feel God trying to speak to her, telling her to stay and try harder. So she once again got out of the car, unbuckled her seatbelt and, this time, _ran _back to the door.

She felt the urgency in her mind become more anxious - she felt the pulse quicken, getting louder and more violent with each step she took across the porch - she didn't even bother to knock. She grabbed the handle and pulled, breaking it off its own lock - how, she didn't know. And she didn't care. She just knew that she had to find him. She walked around the house, yelling his name, her cries becoming more desperate each moment. She walked up one set of stairs and into a dim-lit hallway. The pulse quickened, the heartbeat rang loudly in her ears - all she could hear was the blood being pumped through the heart - she thought herself going mad, but didn't care. She just needed to find Heero. She trembled violently from the blood rushing through her body, the hanging need for oxygen suddenly very clear in her mind, her breathing became more needful of air. Each step she took brought on a new heartbeat - a new source of life.

"Heero!"

The name left her mouth every few seconds - she had to find him. She _had _to find him.

She saw a light through a closed door down the last hallway in the second floor, and ran towards it with every ounce of her strength - her feet felt like lead. She had to move, faster...

She flung open the door and screamed at the top of her lungs, seeing Heero Yuy sprawled out on the bathroom floor with nothing but a towel around his waste, blood pouring forth abundantly out of his head. She slammed the door shut and ran into an open door - finding his bedroom. She grabbed a large cover off of his bed, then walked back to the bathroom. She looked away as she opened the door, then flung the cover over his body, hoping that the cover would conceal his - _lack of clothing _- from her vision. She peeked from under her hand, and saw that he was decent. She went next to him and wrapped the cover closer to his body, sitting down next to him and setting his head into her lap. Her cream-colored skirt was just as soon covered in crimson, hot and wet against her legs. She pulled a cell phone out of her purse and quickly dialed in a number, all the while staring into his face, looking for a sign of life, but found that he was completely unconscious. 

She became impatient and sighed as the phone rang for the fourth time. Just as she was about to hang up, the line clicked and she heard a sleepy voice on the other end greeting her.

"*Yawn* Yes?"

"Sally!" The word surprised even herself with its urgency, its loudness, but she tried to calm herself.

"Relena?"

"Sally, I'm here at Heero's house. He's hurt really bad, there's blood pouring everywhere...I don't know what to do. I'm scared he's...I mean, Sally, what...he could be dead..."

"Woah, Relena, calm down. I'll be right over. Where's the blood coming from?"

She lightly touched his face and gasped at the chill she felt. She turned his face to the side and brushed his brown hair from his forehead. Her eyes widened when she saw a humongous gash above his temple, bleeding profusely, and she knew instantly that his skull was cracked. Her vision wavered.

"Relena? Relena, are you there? Relena!"

She refused to let herself faint, and took a deep breath, whispering to Sally to hang on. She leaned over and waited a minute, then held the phone up to her ear.

"It's on his head, Sally. His skull's been cracked."

She heard a momentary pause on the other end, and then the sounds of an ambulance in the back round.

"Just hang on, Relena. I'll be there in a minute. Don't hang up the phone."

"I won't."

~

She ran straight behind the nurses and doctors who were rushing Heero to an emergency room on a cart, impatiently trying to get them to speed it up. She was oblivious to the people around her, even after she walked beside a man who had just been shot three times in the stomach. All she could see was Heero's pale face against the blood-stained sheets he was lying on. Once she got to the door, two male doctors stood in front of her as Heero passed into another room.

"Mrs. Vice Foreign Minister, we can't allow you to go through here."

"No, you don't understand, I was there at the scene..."

"I'm sorry. You're going to have to wait."

"But..."

"Please, Mrs. Vice Foreign Minister, we don't want to have to escort you out of here."

She took one last glance through the doors and glared at the two doctors, but regained it in her mind that they were just doing their job. Suddenly she felt extremely drained. Her feet dragged underneath her as she walked to the waiting room. She slouched as she sat, totally unladylike, but not caring at the moment. Her eyes closed and she sighed. She didn't have the strength to care.

She felt two strong arms lift her up, one underneath her knees and the other behind her back. She recognized the smell of Milliardo and protested, without looking up.

"No..."

"Shh. Don't worry, love. We won't leave him here alone."

The noises of the hospital slowly faded into the back of her mind as Milliardo carried her down the long corridor of the hospital, the rocking motion of his steps sending her to sleep.

She was halfway awake when she heard the beep of a heart monitor waking her from her tired sleep. Her eyes opened and she blinked a few times against the bright light, not recognizing where she was. She felt a weight on top of her and looked down at the closed eyes of Aurora. The child lightly snored and Relena looked up, confused. She found Heero across the room on a hospital bed, wires hooked up to his arms and a bandage around his head. She instantly became worrisome, but did not want to wake Aurora, so she quietly picked the child up and laid her back down on the couch she had been sleeping on.

She trembled as she walked to his bed, finding it hard to walk and breathe at the same time. She was determined to see his face, to make sure that he was okay, and reached his bed after what seemed a five mile journey.

She saw his face, now with a bit more color in it, but his eyes hollow and his lips still a bit blue. She reached over and ran her hands through his hair that had somehow escaped through the bandage around his head. As if a wall broke, she let herself freely fall until she was on her knees, leaning over his bed, tears flowing freely down her face onto his stomach. She cried silently, hoping no one would hear her open herself up this way. She would hate for her mother to see her right now.

She heard a groan and quickly lifted her head up, dashing her tears away from her face angrily, hoping whoever was in here wouldn't see her crying. She looked around the room and found only herself and Aurora the only ones in the room, besides Heero...

She turned quickly and saw him with his eyes quenched painfully, grabbing his head and grinding his teeth. Her eyes widened and she reached over and grabbed his hand, trying to get him to stay awake.

"Heero, get up. Come on Heero, you've got to get up. You know you could go into a coma. Don't go back to sleep, fight it...Heero, fight it!" She was squeezing his hand by now, and she could tell he was struggling to stay awake, struggling to do anything at all but sleep.

She felt someone tug on her shirt and found Aurora beside her, her eyes filling with tears. With her other hand she lifted the child up so Aurora could see Heero. The child's eyes widened as she looked down at Heero, a smile coming to her face. Until she looked up at Relena, who was struggling to keep the flood in her eyes from overflowing. Aurora could sense her Aunt's sadness and the child immediately became fearful, her eyebrows creased with worry.

Relena looked down at Aurora with the most serious look she could make at the moment.

"Aurora, will you help me pray for Heero?"

Aurora nodded and closed her eyes tightly, reaching over and slipping her little fingers into Heero's hand and the other one grabbing Relena's own.

"Dear Jesus, please let Heero get better and help him not to get sleepy, and give us strength to endure this Lord. We need Your help. We love Heero very much, so if You don't mind, will you make sure he's okay? Thank You very much. In Jesus' name, amen. "

Relena tried to put the words as simply as she could for Aurora, hoping that it would at least stop her from sending her questioning looks. It seemed to have worked, for the child walked back to the couch and was instantly asleep.

Relena stayed where she was, staring at Heero's face, holding his hand, speaking softly to him.

"Open your eyes, Heero. Come on, get up. I know you can, just try harder. Come on, Heero. I still believe in you."

Slowly, she saw the most beautiful shade of Prussian blue show as he opened his eyes painfully, blinking many times but still awake. He focused on her and she smiled back at him, not able to control a tear rolling down her face, still on her knees, still holding his hand. The door quickly opened and she turned to see a nurse walking swiftly over to her, Milliardo behind her and Noin on his heels. Relena's smile faded just as quickly as it had come when the nurse grabbed her by the arm and asked her to move softly.

"I need to check on him. Will you move, please, miss?"

She looked back at him and found him still looking at her, contemplating her. She slipped her hand out of his and stood up, taking a few steps back, keeping her eyes on his. His gaze never wavered from her face, and she blushed. He did not seem fazed by it, and continued looking at her with silent eyes. He never said anything, never showed any sign of pain even as the nurse pulled the IV out of his arm, just stared at her. It would become her undoing, she knew, but she couldn't keep her eyes away from his, though she tried. He just looked at her, with that intriguing look of his - the look that she knew saw past all of her barriers, all of her masks, all of her fears - that saw who she really was, without the condemnation she seemed to face everyday.

Maybe that was what made her want to know him more - the fact that he knew just about everything about her and still wanted to lend his strength. That he still believed in her cause, though he may not believe in the way she went about it. That he knew her, whether she wanted him to or not. But the most important parts he seemed to miss - or maybe he didn't miss them, but would not allow himself to accept them. Maybe he knew that a part of her was starting to love him (or maybe she had _been _loving him, but not as much as she wanted) - but he wouldn't allow himself that one pleasure. To think that someone could love him. He was much too hard on himself.

Another may be her faith and trust and obedience to God - he never liked to talk to her about it. She never pushed it. Never brought the subject up, only mentioned things that had to do with it and he'd get quiet. More quiet than usual. More alone than usual.

She didn't know why she wanted to know him more, but they both knew that she did. Neither of them knew exactly why. She figured that Heero's feelings towards her were a mystery as much to him as they were to her. That was if he felt anything.

By now Aurora had woken up from the noise in the room and run over to Relena, pulling once again on her jeans. She noticed for the first time that Milliardo must've had someone get her a change of clothes when she had been asleep in the waiting room. Aurora's eyes sparkled with tears and Relena, finally out of her trance, was brought back to attention - and found Heero still looking at her, sitting up in the bed. Not able to be scrutinized under his gaze any longer, she bent down and picked Aurora up, purposefully bending so that her long golden hair would cover her face.

She hefted Aurora up onto her hip and ran her hands through the child's un-brushed hair, pulling out the knots. An older doctor walked into the room with a clipboard in his hand, and Relena listened tentatively. 

"I'm assuming you realize the damage that has been done, Mr. Yuy. I read in your profile you've had experience in the medical field, along with your combat training."

"Hai."

"You do realize the side effects this may cause for the next couple of weeks?"

"Hai."

"Fine. You should be able to leave in a week or so. Is this alright with you?"

The doctor waited for an answer, and looked up from his clipboard when he received none. Heero glared up at him, his mouth set in a grim line.

"Mr. Yuy, there's no other way. You have to stay here because there are a million possible things that could happen within the next week because of this opening in your skull. It'd be suicidal to stay away from here."

_Please, God, not this again..._

"I'm willing to risk that."

"No, you're not, Yuy. You're the best agent in your field and you of all people know how important it is for you to take care of Relena."

She began to speak up angrily at Milliardo but Heero cut in for her.

"She's a big girl now. She can handle herself, Zechs, and _you_ of all people should know that the world's at peace now and there will always be threats with or without Relena."

A grin appeared on Relena's face but disappeared as soon as it had come. Aurora began to try to wiggle out of Relena's grasp and succeeded, dropping her teddy bear on the ground and running up to Heero with a smile on her face. Heero stared down at her bewildered, not quite knowing how to react. She motioned for him to pick her up and he did so reluctantly. She placed her head over his bare chest, right over his heart, and made small noises out of her mouth that made a good representation of his heartbeat. She looked over at Relena and motioned for her to come over, and Relena did - her face bright red. Aurora grabbed Relena's hand and placed it over Heero's heart. He had an intake of breath so quiet that no one in the room heard it but himself, but he felt - warmth.

Aurora once again looked up at him with innocent concern in her eyes.

"Hurt?"

Heero continued staring at the child and Aurora's eyes began to water. Finding that Heero wasn't going to 'make things better', she took his hand and placed it over Relena's own over his heart.

"Hurt."

The two stared into each others eyes, neither knowing quite what to say. Milliardo spoke for them.

"What if he stays with us?"

Everyone in the room's attention snapped to him, indignation showing on Relena's face.

"It's obvious that he's not going to stay here, even if you try to force him. He'll find a way out. But maybe if he would agree to stay with us - just for the first two weeks. And then he can leave. So he'll have someone always near him in case something happens."

The doctor took a moment to think about it and then turned to Heero.

"It sounds alright with me, as long as someone is always at home with him. He can't do any strenuous activity. He wouldn't be able to go to work, but he could go out of the house. As long as someone's with him, it sounds fine."

Heero looked back at Relena, questioning the option in his mind.

"If it's alright with Relena..."

Relena looked around the room, torn between what would be easier and what would be best. Heero's heartbeat resounded under her hand. He wouldn't take his hand off of hers.

"Why do I always have to make these kinds of decisions?"

Noin smiled at her from behind Milliardo.

"Because you always seem to make the right ones."

Relena rolled her eyes and looked into Aurora's. Aurora smiled at her with innocence, not quite realizing what was going on but only caring about who was hurting.

What hurt.

It hurt when she wasn't around Heero. Right now, touching him...it didn't hurt so bad.

_Father, give me strength..._

"It's alright with me." She managed to say, biting back the loneliness in her voice.

They packed his bags the next day. It didn't take long - Heero Yuy was more self - sufficient then she could've ever dreamed. He had everything organized, clean, perfect in his house. The trip home from the hospital had been tenuous and uncomfortable, neither of them not quite knowing what to say to one another. Not able to handle the feeling anymore, she tried to shake it off.

"If you're ever hurting or anything, just call me." She said, giving him a brilliant smile. He caught himself mesmerized by it and had to look the other way from smiling himself. Her smile faded and she turned the other way, watching the scenery flash by out of her limo window. Milliardo and Noin sat at the front with Pagan, as if they had planned it all - well, Milliardo might not have planned it, he didn't seem to like Heero much - but she had no doubt Noin and Pagan did. Would they ever understand that things just didn't happen that way?

Heero hadn't spoken to her since the hospital. To be honest, she was scared of what the next two weeks would have in store for her. She had no idea what to expect, and even though it scared her - horrified her, almost - she reminded herself that God had everything under control. It was all happening for a reason. She stared out at her hands as she replayed what the doctor had told her afterwards in her mind...

_"Mrs. Peacecraft, might I have a word?"_

"Of course."

"While Mr. Yuy is staying with you, he may have a few unusual side -effects. Such as nightmares. There could be a number of fluids or things of that nature that can leak through the crack in his skull, but nothing major. Just don't be frightened by him. A few physical problems may be that he gets extremely tired easily, or hungry, or his vision blurs. What I will go ahead and assure you now of is that he will suddenly fall unconscious without any warning, all because of this injury to his head. Don't be afraid if he does, just make sure he gets rest. Make sure that someone is always with him, especially if he's walking down the stairs or something of that nature."

"I see..."

"I haven't known Heero for too long, Mrs. Peacecraft, but I can tell that he's not much of a people person, with anyone. Maybe you could do something to change that."

He winked at her and turned on his heel, walking through the double doors that led to Heero's room.

She looked back over at who she considered a mystery, his dark brown hair flying in the breeze from the open window, resting his chin in his hand. He was so beautiful, in who he was. She wanted to know him so bad.

He suddenly let out a heavy sigh and his body went limp against the seat, his eyes forced close and the upper half of his body falling into Relena's lap. She "oofed" and immediately tensed, not quite sure what was happening - until she stopped and noticed his slow, even breathing. He was completely out of it.

This situation seemed to always happen to her - holding this beautiful person in her arms, wanting to show him how much she knew who he really was, but never quite making it on time - he always seemed to end up in her arms, unaware.

The feeling of being near someone so much a part of her made her feel not so quite alone, and his steady, even breathing lured her to sleep with its melodic rhythm. 

__

He woke up to the sound of someone breathing softly, and he opened his eyes to see long strands of silken blonde hair laid across his chest, his face, his lips. He stayed still but looked up to find himself lying in Relena's lap, her arms down by her side but one hand beside his head, as if she had been running her hands through his hair. Her eyes were closed and he could tell she had fallen asleep, but he didn't like the fact that he had without any warning, and had to fall here, of all places. Not that he didn't like it...

He felt the car stop and sat up so as neither he nor Relena would be found in an awkward situation, and he sat up straight in his seat. He didn't look at her as she yawned softly and opened her eyes - he didn't look at her as she blushed madly at realizing that he must've woken up in her lap. She reached over and touched his shoulder, and he looked over at her concerned eyes and felt himself fall - fall completely in love all over again.

"Are you alright? You scared me for a little while there." She said, smiling at him.

Before he could even stop it, the side of his mouth turned slightly upward. It was a ghost of a smile, he knew - you would've had to of been paying extremely close attention to see it - but she did, and her eyes brightened and she laughed slightly, the blush still on her cheeks.

"I'm fine."

The door opened and Pagan greeted them both with a knowing smile, helping Relena out of the car as Heero went out the other way. They walked into the house and Heero followed, knowing the grounds like the back of his hand. They all walked into the living room and sat down, except for Milliardo, who stood up and straightened his back, coughing to get everyone's attention.

"Heero, you will be staying in the room adjacent from Noin and mines - if that's alright. We have precautions we have to take care of and you being alone with Relena in her bedroom at night is something we'd rather not have the reporters getting hold of. Is this..."

"That's fine." He said, looking at Milliardo with - not really anything in his eyes. Or if there was any sign of anything, he held it back.

"Of course." Milliardo said, taking a deep breath. "Never leave this house without telling one of us first, understood?"

Heero noticed in the back of his mind that Milliardo was speaking to him as if he were his commanding officer - he missed having one of those, however extreme it may have sounded.

"Yes, sir."

Noin grinned.

"Welcome to our home, Heero. Whatever you need, ask Pagan and he'll get it for you. Welcome to our life." Noin said, clasping her hands together and walking away. Milliardo stared at Heero as he followed his wife, issuing a warning. They were alone, he and Relena, and uncomfortable. She started walking past him but he shot his arm out in front of her, stopping her from moving any further, and she gasped.

"What do you want from me?" He said, his baritone voice sending a chill down her spine. She regained her senses and looked into his eyes, determination overriding whatever fear there was there. She reached up and laid her hand flat against his chest.

"I want this." She said, and walked away. He felt the inside of his chest burn with a fire he never knew he had - he felt his heart melt just from a simple touch from this dove.

She had asked for far too much. Too many things, too many painful memories he could never quite fully bring forth, too many emotions -

And he hadn't protested, even as the fire scorched his raw heart. Even though it hurt more than anything else, he hadn't objected to her decision to open up his insides and lay everything bare before her. He didn't say no.

He didn't _want _to say no this time, and he was going to be selfish. This was it. This was all he had left.

*End of Chapter One*

Author's Note : I do not own Gundam Wing or anything in this story but the story itself. Review? Please?


	2. Roots

Heero's Angel

Ch. 2

Roots

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. I do not own the song "Jesus' Blood" by Delirious?. This chapter is a little fluffy…but also angst…and some people may consider this as Heero being out of character, but just think about it yourself…how do you think Heero would act if he felt God? Don't we all, at some point, have to humble ourselves and be completely honest with Him to feel Him?

I've heard of people experiencing miracles before. You know, the whole bright-light thing, seeing faces or hearing voices when they're near to death, but I can't ever remember seeing one or experiencing one myself. I'd like to though, to be honest.

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, not able to get to sleep. Too many thoughts and things like that. That's what Dr. J had to scold me for a lot of times. He'd hook wires up to me and monitor my brain waves while I was trying to go to sleep, knowing full well that there's really no way for me to control it. But then again, I was meant to be inhuman. Perfect. 

I looked around the room. It felt so right being here, asleep in _this_ house, with _this_ family. The moonlight shone through white, silken curtains and the wind whispered. I had opened the window because I had gotten hot in here during the night. I guess that's what it's always like wherever Relena is, though. She gets cold really easily.

The room was so much like her. I could tell she had designed it specifically to make her guests feel at home, and she did a good job of it. The drawers were made of white marble and the floor a plush cream color. Above one of the marble desks was a gigantic mirror, shaped like an oval, giving anyone who cared to look in it a view of their entire body, along with the bedroom.

It smelled like dew on roses. I don't know how, but it did, just like Relena. I think I might have gone mad if I hadn't gotten so accustomed to her office…yeah, it smelled the same way. Maybe she just liked what it smells like when it rains. But the moonlight scattered across everything, making it pearly and shiny, and almost…surreal. Everything had a bluish-white tint to it.

I slid to the side of the bed and my bare feet touched the carpet, and I allowed myself the pleasure of moving my feet back and forth across it. It felt like my carpet, at my house. I got bored pretty fast and opened a drawer that was connected to the side-table, finding a white-leather Bible. It wasn't just one of those Bibles you find in hotel rooms, either. It was specially made, like a gift for someone. I wonder who it was for…

Curiosity got the better of me and I opened it, fingering the first page.

_To Mrs. Relena,_

We love you so much! You're such a beautiful person on the inside and the outside, and hopefully we'll all grow up to be just like you. Thank you for your contributions, we had a wonderful Christmas this year. Thank you so much for visiting with us, you helped bring smiles back to some of our faces, and you helped us all to realize that there is a loving God. We love you with all our hearts, please come back soon.

Love,

Children of St. Peter's Orphanage

I could only stare at it for a while. What else could I do? She was such a beautiful person…so pure, so caring…so full of life, and love. She not only brought hope to my eyes but to the world's…I never knew. I guess I never tried to look any deeper into her than I had to, because if I did…I might not end up in her arms but wrapped around her slender finger.

I put the Bible back into the drawer and closed it quietly, for Aurora's bedroom was right next to mine. That little girl…she is mind-boggling. I catch her staring at me sometimes, as if she's waiting for me to look her way, and she'll smile this innocent smile…she looks so much like that little girl and her dog, Mary.

My hands instantly start trembling as I think of that little girl and I get up quickly, pacing back and forth across the room. I hate when this comes up in my mind…it…it _scares _me, almost. Not because of all the death I felt, or the people that I killed…not even the blood on my hands, but the feeling that I might become who I was then…young…unprepared…sorrowful…all the while trying to retain emotions such as anger and pain and guilt…God knows the guilt…

I've learned to control it all now, and promised myself to never make mistakes again. My mistakes cause the shedding of innocent blood and that scares me beyond belief, all though I don't think I'd ever admit that allowed to anyone.

I walk out onto the balcony and stare out onto a crystal sea of stars against the midnight sky. It was an unusually deep blue sky tonight, and the air was dense and smelt of thunder. I could hear it roaring in the distance, a few miles south of us.

And then I felt her. I stood there, gripping the railings of the balcony, and I _felt _her behind me, staring at me. Somehow she had gotten into my room without me realizing it and I smelt her watered rosy scent and I pictured her in her pajamas a few feet away from me, her hands clasped in front of her, nervous…the way she gets sometimes around me. I don't really know why. She was a shy person, in truth, when she wasn't in a room full of politicians…when she was with real people, showing emotions and things of that nature. But I never expected her to do what she was about to.

I felt two frail hands slide under my arms, around my ribcage, and close in front of me in the kind of sentimental embraces I had only heard of in movies. She leaned against me and I felt her forehead pressing in between my shoulder blades and I felt her chest against my back, and I felt her heartbeat throughout my own chest, vibrant, and full of precious life. I laid my hands on top of hers and sighed, tilting my head to the side.

This was so ridiculously unlike me, but I couldn't help it. For, you see, this was all I had left. This was what God had chosen to show me, what I suppose he had chosen to bring me back to life with. And…well…it felt like everything was okay in her arms.

I felt her even breathing on the back of my neck, and she began swaying back and forth to an unknown rhythm, and I couldn't help but go along with her, being as how she had her arms wrapped around me and all…not that I wouldn't have, if they hadn't been there. It felt so impossible…she was so…so beautiful, and pure, and…I should even call it holy…and she was dancing with _me_, of all people.

She was humming something under her breath, and I liked the way it sounded. I nudged her and I guess she got the point that I wanted her to sing louder, because she did. She always seemed to know exactly what I wanted.

"There's a secret I must tell

Of all the love I've found.

And it's hidden in my heart…

The day You tore my world apart."

I listened attentively…what secret? I almost asked her but I felt her grip around me tighten. I felt the first drop of rain land on my nose, and felt her trembling behind me. She was cold. My love was cold.

"Hallelujah

King forever

Friend and Savior…"

Oh. _That _kind of secret. I wish I had a secret like that. I had a feeling right then that someone was telling me…_you can_.

"Jesus' blood

Never fails me.

Jesus' blood

never fails me.

Jesus' blood…

Jesus' blood…"

It was amazing. I felt something in my heart. I mean, I actually felt something…something inside me feel, something like…like hope. I hadn't felt that for a long time. And the one person I thought I would have it in first…my own Relena…wasn't the person.

"And this secret, it will run

To the corners of the earth.

Where every woman, every son

Will carry higher chains undone."

It was God. I felt…I felt _God_. Was this what had been missing my whole life?

"Hallelujah

Kind forever

Friend and Savior…"

Somehow she knew, and I felt her smile against my back. I looked up into the sky…and just stared. It was all I could do. God was real. God _is _real. What kind of love is this?

"Jesus' blood

Never fails me.

Jesus' blood

Never fails me…"

The rain suddenly came down in showers, and she paused and chuckled softly. I turned around swiftly and picked her up, and she screamed and turned into a ball of joyous laughter. We ran back into the house and I dumped her onto my bed, and she was still giggling. Something bubbled forth out of my throat and I laughed, and she looked up at me as if I were a ghost. I looked down at her after I was through and just smiled at her…not really knowing why. She smiled back, and we must've been there five minutes just staring each other.

As if realizing something, she jumped off the bed while pulling me down onto it, and quickly wrapped the covers around me. I was immediately warm, even though my clothes were a little damp. She sat next to me and I looked up at her eyes - her lovely blue eyes. She reached over and ran her hands through my hair, smiling at me with a small blush staining her cheeks.

I got drowsy pretty quickly, which is really unusual for me. That night, I went to sleep with her hands running through my hair, her arms around my heart, and her sweet voice singing softly until I was gone.

"Sing your songs of freedom

Praise the God of Heaven,

Love that never fails me,

Jesus' blood…

Jesus' blood…"

He was amazing.

Absolutely amazing. 

After I left him, I went up to my room and thought about him for 30 minutes. I had gone in there to check on him, because it was his first night out of the hospital and everything and I didn't want him alone for too long. I got to the door and peaked in, finding him sitting on the guest bed looking in the white leather Bible I had received one year ago from the precious orphans of St. Peter's, and I couldn't help but smile at his curiosity. I watched him get up slowly, watched him walk across the room and stare into the mirror for a while. I wonder if he sees the same person I do.

I followed him out there, and when I found him he paused, and I knew that he knew I was there.

I've read in the Bible that when you bless your enemies, it's like heaping coals of fire on their heads. Well, Heero isn't exactly an enemy, but I sure would like those coals to melt his frozen heart. Because I know for a fact that it's this beautiful light underneath the ice…it's a beautiful ray of warmth just needing a little understanding.

So I wasn't really sure how I could bless Heero…and the thought of hugging passed through my mind. I acted on it. That's what I heard Heero had said once. Act on your emotions. And I did.

I never knew one person could hold so much warmth inside them. It felt so perfect with him, there. I can't really explain how peaceful and wonderful it felt. He didn't push me away, and he didn't flinch when he felt my touch, which is so unlike Heero, and I don't know why he didn't. But right then, it didn't matter. I just wanted him to let me hold him, and he did.

I leaned against him, and I felt his hardened back muscles, and wondered how one person could be so strong. When he placed his hands over mine I felt his arm muscles flex a little, and when we began to sway…everything between he and I was in sync with the other. 

I sang him the song that I sang to Milliardo when he came to me for advice on how to ask Noin to marry him. The irony was killing me.

But then, something clicked, and I realized that Heero was connecting with God, or some basis level for that. Maybe he was just interested in religion, and he looked at the Bible because it was there…but why was he letting me hold him like this, singing him this song about Jesus? Maybe I _was _freaking him out and he just didn't want to say anything.

I was about to ask him if this was okay, but the sky fell down on top of us and we had to run back inside. I couldn't help but laugh under my breath. It seemed like we were always being stopped by…something. Whether it be rain, or threatening to kill me, or opening up a little bit…something was always there.

But not this time.

I'm going to get him to open up to me within these next two weeks. After all, it _is_ my job.

The next morning Noin and I were in the kitchen fixing breakfast for Heero and Zechs, and I was really hyper for some reason. Which is a big deal, for me.

"Relena, what _are _you doing?"

"Putting chocolate chips in my pancake."

"For breakfast?"

"Um…_yeah_…"

She looked up at me with her bright eyes and…looked at me.

"What?"

"You're really, _really _weird."

I flicked a chocolate chip at her eye and it stuck. 

"Ow."

We were both laughing as she tried to get it out of her now swollen eye when I heard the stairs squeak. We turned at the same time to see Zechs helping Heero down the stairs. When they reached the bottom, Heero paused and looked at me.

"Well good morning, beautiful." I heard Zechs say, walking towards Noin then kissing her on the lips. They both walked outside, leaving us alone again. I looked back at Heero and found him sitting on the bottom step, holding his head in his hands. I walked over to him and touched his arm.

"Hey…are you alright?"

He didn't look up at me. I shook his shoulder gently…realizing how thin and frail he is, underneath it all.

"Heero?"

He still didn't move and I lifted his chin with my hand. I'll never forget what I saw.

There was blood running from his nose, covering his mouth, his lips, his face…it was _everywhere._ His mouth was open, as if in shock, and he was staring at me, but seemingly through. What stood out the most were his dilated eyes…they were frightened. Had I not spent years studying him I might not have known, but they were. And that scared _me._

"Heero! Look at me, Heero!"

He didn't move. He couldn't hear me, and I was screaming. I had grabbed both of his shoulders and shook him, and all he did was let himself be pushed and pulled back and forth, until finally he let go and let his head fall forward once again, against my chest.

I was alone.

I was completely alone, and no one could hear me screaming. There was nothing but a swirling blackness around me, and I couldn't move, and I couldn't breathe. I think I'm dying. So, this is it.

_Relena…_

Was this it? Right when I…right when I begin to let go…I'm dying? I don't understand it.

_God…why is this happening?_

I couldn't help but ask. I can't help but be disappointed. This can't be it.

_I need You…_

There was silence around me, and for the first time I…I didn't want it. 

_Please…_

I am alone.

_Please don't give up on me…_

My ears pounded with…a heartbeat. Feeling began coming back, and immediately I felt my nose bleeding and myself leaning into someone. I smelt watered roses along with my own blood. Relena…

Vision came slowly, but all the while I heard her heartbeat as my head leaned against her chest. I felt her running her hands through my hair, the other wiping the blood I knew was running down my face. I reached up and grabbed a fistful of her blouse, and she gasped as I pulled her down to my eye level. My breathing was heavy and she stared at me with kind eyes.

"There is a God, Relena."

She looked at me then, with all the grace one body can hold, and I saw the stars in her eyes. I lifted my face an inch from hers…our noses touched, and she stared at me with those shining stars…and we stayed there, millimeters apart, staring at one another. I felt her breathe against my face, and she looked down and pressed her forehead against mine.

And so, because at this moment I had the stars within my grasp, I reached up, took her in my arms, and kissed her jaw line.

It was my replacement and explanation for my pain, with all of my mistakes. With all of my shameful life and with all of the love that I could muster up in that one moment. I kissed her with all that I am, and she accepted me. She accepted me. And even though it wasn't what people call a heated kiss, or a lustful kiss, or even a passionate kiss…it was all I had dreamed of and more.

I was soaring across the ocean.

What was always there but just held back came forth when he looked at me, and all the world disappeared, and everything was okay, because Heero had granted me a piece of himself.

It was over so fast. It was just a brush of the lips, in the twinkle of an eye, but he had done it, and when I looked up he was staring at me with such intensity that I couldn't pull my gaze away from his. When I looked deeper, I found hope, underneath the layers.

He reached up and placed his fingertips against my lips as I sat there, speechless. It was much more of a big deal than most people would take it. It wasn't just a kiss on the cheek. It was…it was…

__

Perfect.

I reached around him and brought him into my arms, and he let himself be held and rocked like the child that was in his heart, there on the steps. But then, he reached around _me_, and placed his chin over my shoulder. I laid my cheek against his, and closed my eyes.

"I feel you." He said.

Immediately, the warmth flooded through me, bursting forth out of my heart. The words meant more to me than I could've ever imagined they would, because right at that moment I realized how lonely I actually was, and I was so grateful. I was so happy.

"And I know that you feel me too…I just know…I know that when you _look _at me, and you feel the same things I feel, and want to change the world the same way I do…I know that there must be something there that goes so much deeper, Relena…"

So much deeper. _So _much deeper.

"Let's figure out what it is together, okay?"

And he smiled.

~

Voila! I've had about half of this chapter written for forever. Then my dad deleted it. Grrr….but then I rewrote it, in my opinion better. 

****

I HAVE A QUESTION TO MY REVIEWERS!!!

Would you rather me write shorter chapters, and post them more often like this, or write longer chapters like the first chapter and post them less often?


	3. TwentyOne Questions

Heero's Angel

Ch. 3

By: Nena

"You shouldn't be doing that."

He glanced up at me, his messy bangs falling into his face, then looked back down at the knife in his hands. He grabbed the wooden end and stuck it into the plastic container, before reaching into the sink and grabbing another.

"Really, you shouldn't. You could…"

"Hn." He said, before putting the last dish into the dishwasher, shutting it with very little effort on his part. "I've got to do _something_."

I slid off of the counter and walked over to the cabinet, grabbing a golden glass that sparkled in the brilliant sun that shone through the window. Over the course of two days he had succumbed to gradually defying all acts of his normal inert behavior, allowing a soothing smile to grace his features in my presence, but only in mine. When we languidly strolled through the halls and jogged slowly across the massive green yard of my home he would hold onto my hand without the slightest hint of embarrassment, as if it were normal, as if it had consistently been what we had both longed for and felt our entire lives with an experienced progression of one whole being.

He poured me a glass of tea, and the dull brownness of it reminded me of Georgia, and at the same time, his hair. I do suppose that if he had grown up in America, he would have lived in Georgia. It was quiet and, although country and not as advanced and slummish as New York and Chicago and the big cities, it was particularly hard not to be called anything other than home, even after only one visit. He seemed to like it here, anyhow.

"Try not to do anything with sharp objects. You could get yourself killed, and we don't want that…now do we?"

"Sometimes."

His answer startled me and the glass fell from my fingertips and shattered to a million crystals randomly scattered across the kitchen floor and tea splattered against my white tennis shoes. I looked up at him and searched his eyes as they stared hollowly back at me, with an intensely familiar honesty that brought back many memories of war. He looked away then, smothering his features beneath a greyly-clouded face of indifference. He was hiding from me.

The thing with Heero is that his entire life he's never been really, comprehensively, listened to. Of course people listen to him when he speaks, because he hardly ever does, but they don't search the audaciously underlying truthfulness of it. He wants it to be that way, though. He wants people to think that they've understood him when they really have no idea of what the true potential of his words are. This is all, of course, assuming that he _does_, in fact, say something to you. Usually he just listens while someone else blabbers on about something that he has no real interest in, and he'll nod his head, or 'hn' them. I suppose it gets him through the day.

So I listened. Because no one else had the patience, or the time, or the interest, I listened. I had all three at the moment. He turned away from me and leaned over the kitchen sink, looking through a small window out at the back yard. I suppose we both seemed mildly content with the lack of sound, because neither of us made a noise. I stared at his back, a thin black t-shirt the only thing covering his flesh, the sculpted muscles underneath a weakness I did not allow myself to indulge in, because that was not what he needed. He didn't need a lover. He needed a strong friend, one whose faith went unwavering with God, one who could help hold him up when he fell emotionally, physically, spiritually…in any way. 

The glass window smudged as his fingertips pressed against it, leaving fingerprints along the shiny surface. His blue eyes reflected in it but he seemed to be looking through it, out into the benevolent sereneness of my backyard garden, thoughtful of his disposition and my own. He needed someone to listen.

He turned around abruptly and swiftly walked over to me, grabbing my wrist and holding my hand between his determined and unaffected face and my own surprised one. An underlying thoughtfulness marred his delicate brow as his eyebrows pressed in concentration, staring at the back of my hand. My own pale one contrasted sharply with his own tanned, rough one. It wasn't a callous hand. Just stronger-skinned than my own, my nimble fingers warming as he intertwined his fingers within mine. He merely stared, running his fingers through mine, and it was then that I felt a slight indention of skin underneath the sliding of my fingertips. I paused and so did he, abruptly understanding that I had found his secret. I grabbed his tanned arm and flipped it over, him standing idly by with an unreadable expression on his face.

The cut was straight and narrow, as I has expected it to be. Right over main veins above his hand, the scar wasn't noticeable unless you were looking for it, but it was, in fact, there. I ran my fingertips over it lightly, and he shuddered. The next moment I found myself crying uncontrollably, the tears running down my face and onto his arm. They were hot and burned my eyes as they fell like rain, but no voice came out of my mouth. Not a sniffle, or a gasp. They were just tears.

He moved closer to me and put his arm behind my back, pulling his tear-stained one away and then placing it around me in an awkward embrace.

"Don't cry Relena."

I'm okay with sorrow. I'm usually able to suppress myself with the barest minimal amount, even when I receive the sympathy of my friends. I can keep myself at a distance. But not with him. I would never be able to hold back from him. I heard myself strangle out a whimper before burying my face closer into his chest, trying to hold back the cries that refused to be suppressed. The gentle rubbing of his hand upon my back kept me there in his strong arms.

"Please don't cry Relena…"

I could've lost him. He was able to survive anything, any person, self-destructing Zero…but if he really wanted to kill himself, he could have. He had tried but didn't succeed. I wonder what stopped him. Whatever or whoever it was, I know that there was, in fact, someone looking out for him. His angel.

He pulled me closer into himself, pressing my face into his chest, running his hand through my hair which I knew would eventually lure me to sleep. His heartbeat resounded consistently underneath my ear and I sighed. I had long since stopped crying when I felt a warm drop of something land on my forehead, and he drew in a staggered breath. He half whispered to me in the bright lights of our kitchen.

"I hate it so much…"

The words touched me. Of course they did, who wouldn't be touched by that? We were in the middle of accepting each other when I felt him stiffen, and I stared up into his eyes. They were wide, confused, and hurt. He reached over and wiped the liquid, which I figured were his own tears, off of my forehead, and as his hand came back up it was swiped with blood. I jumped out of his arms and immediately ran my hands through his hair, checking for any open wounds. I felt nothing, and he eventually grabbed my hand and held me still.

"It's coming from my tear ducts…" he said, rubbing his eyes painfully, "and I'm having trouble focusing my eyes on one thing." I placed my hand behind his head and he leaned against it, giving me a view of his face, and sure enough, there was blood running from the creases of his eyes, down to his chin. I wrapped one arm behind his back, and he stood up slowly. I heard the door open and Noin walked in and stopped, staring at Heero with concern etched on her face.

"Noin, I need you to call the doctor and ask him if he has any reasonable meaning behind Heero's bleeding from his nose and tear ducts. Tell him this is the second time its happened."

She nodded and quickly turned around and headed into another room. Heero grunted in pain next to me as he rubbed his eyes, one arm over my shoulder. I helped him up out of the chair. As we walked into the other room, he lost his balance and tried reaching for the wall. He fell towards it and tried to let go of me but didn't succeed in doing it. In fact, I fell gently with him, until I ended up sitting against the wall with my legs bent in front of me. He had fallen in an angle where he was still holding himself up with the wall, but in front of me, his head leaning over my bent knees. His breathing was heavy and forced. I lifted his chin, and he faced me with his eyes closed. My hand was the only thing keeping him up.

"Heero?"

He opened his eyes slightly and stared at me. I grinned, and so did he, covering up the massive headache I knew he must be having. We tried once again, and I pretty much dragged him to the couch in our living room. I sat on the edge and he placed his head in my lap and laid across the sofa uncertainly, as if he wasn't sure what he was doing or where he was. When we got settled his breathing slowed and he closed his eyes, but every once in a while he'd wince and another blood-stained tear would travel down his face.

"Let's play a game." I said softly, and he nodded his head, his eyes still closed.

"I ask twenty-one questions. You ask twenty-one questions. We take turns. Question number one…" I paused, trying to think of one.

"Favorite color?"

He grimaced. "I don't really have favorites," He said softly, almost inaudibly. Then, just as quietly, " What's your favorite song?"

"Hmm…that's hard. I guess I'd have to say something by Switchfoot. I love all of their songs," He smiled. "if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?"

"My anger." He said, even softer than last time. "What do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Think about you." I said, comically, a blush rising in my cheeks. He laughed softly. "Just kidding."

"No you weren't." He said, a grin still on his face. My blush only deepened.

Noin walked in, her face pale. She still had the phone in her hand, but wasn't speaking into it.

"He says it could be some leakage…or, tissue damage. He's not really sure, to be honest. He's never heard much of anything like that before." I saw the worry lines on her forehead and nodded at her, and she turned and went back upstairs.

I looked down at Heero, but his face was again unreadable.

"So…what are you going to do after college?"

"Think about you." He said, a grin once again reappearing on his face.

We continued asking each other questions. About God, about each other, about feelings, future, life in general. He slowly slipped in and out of consciousness (I'm not sure if it was purposely or not). I was too, but only because it had been a long, long day. I didn't know what else to ask after thirty minutes, and I laid my cheek against his forehead. The words left my mouth before I even realized I had spoken.

"Do you love me?"

"Yeah." He whispered into the silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so, so, so, sooooo sorry this took so long. I'm just….busy. That's all I can say. I'll try harder. I think I'm gonna go with the shorter chapters thing. This once took me _forever_.

Oh, by the way, I don't own Gundam Wing. Reviews, anybody? I like this chapter, even if it did take me…one…two…three…four…who-knows-how-many-months to write.


	4. The Trial

Heero's Angel

Ch. 4

By Nena Keller

"What's happening? I don't understand…" Relena lifted her kerchief up to her mouth as tears rolled down her face, red and blue lights and the sound of a siren sending her into a mini-shock. Three paramedics wheeled a very pale and unconscious Heero Yuy by on a stretcher, while people crowded around the scene with worried expressions on there faces. This could not be happening.

Everything had been so perfect. They had spent the last week together tending to her garden, taking walks on the beach, watching late night movies eating popcorn mixed with milk duds, and it had all ended with this. Someone grabbed her arm and gently tugged her towards the ambulance, her vision blurry and her body feeling numb.

It had been unmistakable. They were meant to be together. He loved her with all of his heart and she hers.

People kept yelling her name at her, but she couldn't seem to focus, couldn't seem to understand the situation. Someone hefted her up and carried her over to the ambulance, and there she sat, staring at Heero. He was lying on the stretcher, his skin blue, his face expressionless. He couldn't feel anything. She reached over and ran her fingers along his face, trailing along his eyelashes, lips, nose, when suddenly his blood-sprinkled eyes shot open and he gasped and sat straight up. His arms and legs flailed in every direction, slapping her in the midst while the paramedics attempted to hold down his strong body. He looked directly at her for a moment, then his eyes flickered to somewhere else, and she understood then - he was blind. She couldn't remember much after that. She woke up in the hospital, once again.

It had seemed like such a normal day. They had gone jogging down by the terrace, and Heero had been cracking jokes about his own predicament. The night he had told her he loved her, they both knew it was sisterly. Neither of them were ready to admit that they were _in_ love. But their affections were definite and they had both grown accustomed to the other being around. They thought he was getting better.

Heero had said a particularly raw comment about her old pink limo so she playfully ran faster than him, knowing he couldn't catch up because he'd get too dizzy, and turned a corner. When she reached the end she turned to find that he had not yet reached her.

"C'mone Heero! You're getting rusty." She said, giggling like a little school girl.

She almost threw up. How could she have been so careless? She was supposed to be taking care of him! Not pushing him!

"Relena, wait…"

"Heero Yuy! I do believe I have beaten you _yet_ again."

"Uunnhh…"

"Heero?"

"Relena! Relena, are you al - Relena!"

She leaned over and threw up on the hospital floor, tears rolling down her face.

"It was all my fault…all…"

"Come on, babe, don't talk like that…"

She looked up and recognized his kind eyes, long braid, tall frame, and pushed herself away.

"How can you stand to look at me, Duo! What's the point! What's the whole stupid point! I have nothing now! _Nothing_! He'll never trust me again. He'll never be able to see me again…he'll never want to even if he could! God! What have I done to deserve this? What kind of God lets this happen, Duo? Is all I've ever believed in…is it…is it all a lie?"

He grabbed her face forcefully, staring down into her miserable eyes with his own hardened, angry ones.

"Don't _ever _think that you will _ever_ be able to understand the mind of God. He loves you more than you will ever know, even if you hate yourself."

"Mrs. Vice Foreign Minister?"

She sat up quickly and brushed away her tears. Duo melted away into the shadows.

"Yes?"

"You may see Mr. Yuy now."

She followed the nurse down the long, white hallways, trailing her fingers along the tile in the walls. She must have turned 15 corners before she got to the room, but time seemed to fly by. She felt hollow. Empty. Heero was kept in a private security-detained hospital room with vaulted doors that let out air pressure as they were opened. She looked down at her jogging suit. Once again, she was covered in his blood.

"Heero! Where are you at, Heero?"

"Re..le..na…"

"Heero! Please keep calling me!"

_Oh God, please don't be dead when I find you…I can't lose you now…_

When she found him he was face down on the concrete, sprawled out as if someone had hit him from behind. When she reached him she turned him over, only to find it looked like something had started to chew his face off. Besides major scrapes, she could find no other evidence that this was caused by another person. So he fell. Trying to catch up with her.

He was lying on top of another stretcher, this time his entire head covered in bandages. They had put some sort of liquid-blamer onto his face to decrease the swelling. His eyes were closed. He looked pale. He looked gone.

_What's the use of trying to reach someone only to have them taken away again?_

I don't know.

_Oh, I think you do. I think you know exactly what this all means._

What?

_Every part of it…every single minute detail has been of your doing. Not some God holding the world on a yo-yo. Or an angel on a stone. This has all happened because of _you

I don't believe it.

_ You don't have to. It doesn't change the fact that it's still truth. This entire time you've gone on some adventure, trying to help Heero find himself, when the truth was that you were trying to suck him dry of every possible salvation he had._

That's not true!

_It is, Relena. It is the truth. And the truth…shall **set you free**._

That is _NOT_ truth!

_Then what is truth, Relena?_

I would _never_ hurt Heero.

_ Of course you wouldn't. Not on purpose, anyways. You relied completely on God to help guide your hands. Tch. _

Heero let out a quiet moan.

_Some God._


	5. Malefaction

Heero's Angel

Ch. 5

By Nena Keller

He came to some time later, awakening to someone running their fingers along the underside of his wrist in that lazy way people do when they've done it so long, they don't realize they're doing it anymore. He forced himself to focus as he tried to recall what had happened, distorted images of Relena running away from him, hair flying wildly in the humid air, and then nothing but hot gravel between his teeth, shoved up his nose…everywhere. Reaching up, he touched his face, expecting to find gauze and tape. Instead he just felt skin.

"It's been two weeks."

He opened his eyes, blinking against the harsh white of the fluorescent lighting. Relena sat next to his bed, looking like she hadn't slept much. He pulled his hand away, taking in a deep breath and shuddering as he let it out.

"The doctors say you're fine now. You can leave anytime you want to. They don't feel there's any risk anymore."

"The grave is lazy. It takes our bodies slow." He said, a sardonic grin playing over his face, baring his teeth at her in a way that reminded her of a horse biting down on a bridle. He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, then paused and took note of the fact that she didn't react to him, her arms crossed and a blank stare on her face. He shifted his legs to the side of his bed and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Okay, Relena, what's wrong with y…"

The next thing he knew, his back was pressed against the wall and she was digging her fingers through his hair, crushing her lips against his. He looked up in shock and watched her as she kissed him, reaching down and ripping his buttons off.

"What…"

"I've decided it's not worth it." She breathed out as she pulled her mouth away from his, all the while working her way down his buttons.

"I've decided that living a life of sacrifice isn't worth it. What's the point of always praying and giving things up in your life if nothing ever changes."

She paused and looked at him, then slowly leaned over and pressed her lips along his bare shoulders, working her way up his neck. When she reached his ear and blew softly, he shuddered and gripped her arms.

"What are you trying to do to me?" he said softly, staring into her eyes. When she looked at him, her expression changed from one of desire to one of horror at her own actions. She jumped off of his hospital bed and backed up against the wall, running her hands through her hair nervously. He sat stunned on the hospital bed, staring her down. He refused to look away until she finally made eye contact.

As she opened her mouth to speak, the door opened and Duo walked in. He smiled as he saw Heero and walked up to him and slapped him on the back.

"Well, if it isn't everyone's favorite hero. You finally woke up! Geez, man, you've been out of it for like…forever. You had everybody worried _sick_ dude. We thought about pulling the plug and everything. Okay, so maybe you didn't need a plug, but we did think about taking all of your stuff. Like the friggin mansion you've got out by that lake. And your sniper rifle. We thought about burning your collection of green tank tops though. Seriously…"

All the while Duo was rambling, Heero's eyes were burning into Relena's. She had enticed him and he was wondering what it had all meant. And why in the world he had pushed her away. Duo followed Heero's gaze and turned to look. When he saw Relena, his expression darkened slightly.

"Hey, Rel. Didn't realize you were in here. Do you two want some time?"

"We don't need any time." Heero said, jumping off the bed and tossing his shirt to the side. "I'm leaving. I've been in this hospital for way too long, and I've been inactive for even longer. It's time for me to get back to work."

With that, he walked out the door, and didn't look back.

PREVENTER HEADQUARTERS

One Month Later

"Yuy. We need a status update on the Vice Foreign Minister. Is everything on schedule?"

Heero looked down at his watch and mumbled something into his earpiece, straightening his tie. He was dressed for a white tie event, uncomfortable with the amount of people crowded in the giant auditorium. Tonight was the anniversary of five years of peace, and Relena was the guest speaker. 2000 per plate, the banquet hall was to his left, and would be where he would retreat once Relena had finished her speech. Tonight was a big deal, and every Preventer in the building was checking and rechecking their every charge throughout the evening.

He hadn't spoken to Relena since the hospital, and she refused to make eye contact with him in the office. In fact, she had requested a new bodyguard. He hadn't minded at first, because being away from her kept his mind from jumping back to that moment he felt her hot breath against his ear, and having to immediately go take a cold shower. But then she started getting these death threats that began to worry him, and when he would try to get information from Une she would tell him to mind his own business, and then roughly remind him that Relena was no longer his responsibility. He had to practically beg Duo to take his position tonight just to be in the same room with her.

Something had taken hold of her that day in the hospital, some side of her that he knew was there but never quite experienced for himself. It was like a part of her had awakened, a part of her that she had saved just for him. Except he felt that she may have awakened it a little too early for both of them. Or maybe he had awakened it without realizing it.

He shook his head, and for probably the hundredth time that night, scanned the massive crowd that had filed in, glasses clinking together and women taking usher's arms as they were led down the red carpet to their designated seating. To the left side of the stage there was an assigned booth for the mass business conglomerates. Quatre was sitting there tonight, along with three others, two of whom were colonial activists, and the other an independent business owner who had made a fortune during the wars selling ammunition. His name was Duke Langston, and he was now one of the leading pacifists within the Earth Sphere Unified Nations. He sponsored free clinics within the colonies for children of war who were trained from birth to fight. Clinics that were used to help bring what they could of their humanity back.

"Yuy. It's time. Please escort."

He turned to the side and opened the golden-lined doors, awaiting a massive crowd of media and cameras to be on the other side. But it was only her. She was in a mint colored dress trimmed in some kind of ivory satin, her hair pulled back with ringlets of gold spiraling down her face onto her bare shoulders. She was looking down at her gloved hands, twisting her papers in a nervous habit, when she looked up at him. Her deep blue eyes sparkled up at him, and he let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He held out his arm to her, and she took it shakily, walking through the double doors. A blinding flash of lights followed, and she gripped his arm, her hands shaking. He turned to her and gave her a questioning look, and they paused mid-stride.

"I've got a bad feeling."

He grinned at her and then squeezed her hand. To him, it felt like she was the only person in the room.

"You look lovely tonight," he said, turning her so that she could see the crowd, "and these people love and trust you. You can do anything. Don't believe any different."

She smiled up at him, white against the faint pink of her lips, and began to walk forward, but then paused again.

"Heero…about before. At the hospital…"

He tensed slightly, giving her a warning gaze.

"Just forget about it." He said, pulling her along with him towards the crowd. "That doesn't matter now." She paused and bit her lip, looking just as confused as ever. It was only when they had reached the podium and he was helping her up the stares that she realized he had let go of her hand, and as she reached the last step and he pulled away to disappear in the crowd, she caught the look of restrained desire in his eyes.

"Ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, we have been called together to watch the last of the dying embers of war burn out. We have come together to open our mouths and breathe in deeply for the first time in a century full of pain and war and blood and shame, without fear of what the future may bring. We are strong. We are a people of determination, fervor, passion, and love. And yes, a people of war. A people of regret. I don't believe that anyone, myself included, can honestly answer that they don't regret things they've done in their past. These wars we bring on ourselves, the way we hate each other as if we have no choice…those of us who were forced into fighting from birth, not knowing anything else…this is your time. This is your redemption. Forget about your past. Forget about the things that you have done wrong. If there is one thing I've learned in my life, it's that everyone deserves second chances. Some of us will judge you. Some of us will judge ourselves. But remember, we are in this together. Work, strive, _believe_ in peace. It has believed in you all this time. _I_ believe in you. We can do this…"

Heero noted the way her mouth moved as she spoke. The way every person's attention was focused on her and the words falling from her mouth. No one else noticed the way her fingers tugged the glimmering bracelet on her wrist out of nervous habit, or how her legs shook slightly behind the podium. It wasn't like her to be so nervous.

He scanned the crowds once more and detected no threat, but as he turned to his left he stopped short in his tracks as he heard the slight click of the safety of a gun next to his ear.

"Mr. Yuy. Please do not attempt any attempt of escape at this point, because it will result in the immediate disposal of that darling young woman speaking a few feet from you. There are four sticks of dynamite beneath that podium along with 9 snipers in the audience. As for your fellow co-workers…well, they've been incapacitated for the moment."

He ground his teeth, but could only stand still as the person behind him jammed something metal into his hands.

"Cuff yourself."

As he began sliding the handcuffs up his wrists, he looked up at Relena. Sensing his gaze, she turned to him and smiled. He cursed under his breath that she couldn't see the man hidden behind him beneath the thick red curtain, and then glared at her. Her eyebrows knit together in confusion and she subconsciously took a step back toward him. The man behind him dug the gun into his back as she moved towards him, and growled underneath his breath. He turned back to Relena and shook his head at her, his eyes big as saucers. She paused and looked at him, then once again resumed her speech.

The man behind him pulled him back beneath the curtain, away from the light. He couldn't see anything as several hands roughly brought him down to his knees, shoes scraping against the floor and heavy breathing his only indication that he was, in fact, being apprehended. Pain shot through his abdomen as someone kicked him in the stomach, and he doubled over. At the same time two rough hands reached around his face and gagged him, the cloth dry in his throat. His head was pulled back roughly as someone grabbed his hair, and then a needle was jammed into his neck. All hands released him at that point and he fell to the ground. Angry, he hefted himself back up and made a run for the door, but only made it a couple of steps before he lost feeling. He fell to the floor numbly aware that he could no longer control his limbs. In the back of his mind, he heard the crowd outside roaring loudly. His eyelids fluttered as the same voice from outside curtain spoke into his ear, gripping his chin and forcing his face in the man's direction.

"Did you honestly think that everything that has happened to you over the past few months was just circumstance? That you could just end this war with no consequence for your actions, Mr. Yuy?"

The men began dragging him backwards outside the auditorium. The parking lot was empty in this area, save for a white catering van. The doors were slid open and Heero could see the men in position inside. He heard the auditorium doors opening with a slight creek, and the three men handling him suddenly dropped him two steps away from the van and jolted behind it. He fell to the ground and hit his head so hard on the pavement that his vision blurred, and he was left sprawled out. He turned on his side and brought his knees up.

Suddenly, he heard her frantic voice. His eyes shot open and he sat straight up. Relena was running towards him, her eyes wide open. He shook his head frantically at her, screaming at her beneath the gags. She ignored his protests and continued running. When she reached him, she moved to touch him, but he kicked her hands away. He made desperate noises to get her to go away, but it was too late. As the medicine coursed through his system, his vision clouded as he watched as the men jumped from behind the van and grabbed Relena and threw her into the van behind him, her screaming his name.


End file.
